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Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 2:18 AM

ESP!!!! haha, just came back by the way.. to be serious, at first, coming to this camp was sort of like routine or annual thing to me, since i've went every year since standard 6.. and also because i was in the band, but Jit said something to the band that changed me :

'' don't let this be a performance, it is worship unto God ''

after that band practise when Jit shared, i told God that this year i wanted to go to ESP to INPUT and OUTPUT, to receive and to bless..and playing in the band was NOT going to interfere with my worship unto God. i made sure i was ready and well prepared. i really did!! plus this year, a new yfer was coming along so i wanted her to enjoy the camp too!!

The first 2 messages by jit was great~!! So was Pastor Daniel's !! praise God for them!! absolutely relevant, taking out the trash, the rotten, forgotten, smelly trash that we keep.. yucks! haha, and praise God, our 1st worship session went well and i got to worhip as i play!!!

then came the last night!! our 2nd worhsip session!! haha, i was excited!! during practise and prayer, i really thought things could go alright.... but when we were finishing the fast songs and starting to enter the slow songs, it was coming to my part for intro, but i realized that half the keyboard was mute!!! i didn't know waht to do, it wasn't the keyboard i normally used at church, i could only play above the middle, but playing too high could make sounds really sharp and disrupt the atmosphere... i asked God :

'' how could you let something like this happen at this kind of time!?!!!!?!!!?? ''

for the rest of the session i was trying to figure out what to do, i off-ed and on-ed the keyboard, played again but it sounded kinda same.. but, in a situation like this, i could worship God, i was pleading for mercy, pleading Him to make things alright, i wanted everybody to worship without any distraction or whatsoever, i didn't want to ruin the worship.... i was almost in tears, but i sucked them back in again however much my tears wanted to drop down my face.. ''i cannot cry now'' i told myself '' don't ruin it! '' .. my heart felt terrible and useless but i held back my tears... Thank God Ryan was there to help me fill in by guitar on the intro..

i walked down the stage totally broken, shocked by my failure during worship.. I barely worshiped, the keyboard went nuts, and my spirit it was crushed by how i didn't get to give my best worship unto God, how i didn't get to play sweet music into His ears... I REALLY PREPARED THE BEST I COULD.....why?

when i sat down, i had my shoulder on Meiqi, burying my head, and a moment later, unrealizingly, the tears i just couldn't hold back anymore... but at least i managed to still myself by the time message started. but that night's message was so relevant, and by the end of it, all youth group leaders and group leaders were called up to be prayed for ... after some thinking and consideration, i took the courage to step in front.. THe words of the advisors and pastors was no doubt God speaking to me.. =)

PRAISE GOD.

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Wednesday, December 2, 2009 at 6:53 PM


PRESENTING .........The Spongebob Square Pants show!!!!!!!!!! haha, my newest favourite jokers!! to say seriously, this is one show that is filled with SERIOUSLY SUPER LAME jokes and yet each one of them make me laugh!!! i really salute the maker of this show la, and the people who think of the jokes.

i first started watching this show when koko Paulus was watching it, so i have my brother to thank !!! haha, this show stars spongebob and friends in underwater world called : Bikini Bottom . haha, i really like this show, i know it sounds childish and immature to watch this at 15 years old but i can't help it!! its really nice....

actually coming to think of it, this show is just like the world we live in, full of extremist, cheapskates, selfish people and wonderful friendships.. and also people of different shapes and sizes, different colours and personalities but all live together...

Ok, now i shall introduce you to the stars of the show :


first there are the '' best friends forever '' - Spongebob and Patrick !! these are 2 GENUISES that have fun all day and do all sorts of stupid and cute and yet sweet stuff together. between the 2, i like Patick Star better because hes the more innocent and naive one, that makes him so cute !! but amongst all the laughter and jokes, i really admire these 2 friends. In one of the episodes, Patrick drops his brain and found the wrong one, so the ''wrong brain'' that he found made him smart. so, the now smarter Patrick goes around being smart and sophisticated, that makes him to be disliked by his friends while poor spongebob is left without a friend anymore... and in the end, when they finally find back Patrick's old brain you should see the happiness on spongebob's face, oh man the fun they have as friends just makes me wonder...


then theres Squidward Tentacles the selfish, stuckup octopus. He loves playing the clarinet and is in love with himself, he is proud and self-centered and really really dislikes spongebob and patrick. haha, i dunno how many legs he has but without squidward, the show wouldnt' be as nice too. OH , i forgot to say that he works at the Krusty Krab with spongebob and Mr. Krabs.


ok, the others are sort of calafares so i will only introduce Mr Krabs and Plankton. These 2 are arch enemies, with Plankton always trying to steal the secret recipe of the krabby patty from Mr. Krabs. Plankton owns the Chum Bucket while Mr Krabs owns the Krusty Krab. THey hate each other but i think they can't live without each other either. haha...

well, this post has been loooooong, so i think i'll stop now.. enjoy the show everybody!!!!!!! it brings me happiness and i think it will to you too!!

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009 at 6:10 AM

holidays are here!!! yippie !! but things are quite the oppisite for the SPM and STPM ppl, pray that you guys will try your best and leave the rest to God!! yah, so our anual class party was on monday !! yay!! thanks Jiale for opening up the house for a bunch of crazy girls like our class.

i really enjoy the time with friends, cutting up the odd shaped watermelon, cutting and eating the guava at the same time.. haha, the preparation itself was GREAT! thank God for 3(1). all my friends started coming about 6.30 and by 7.45, everybody was already eating and laughing and making a whole lot of noise !! haha, i loved the noisiness and laughter, taking thousands and thousands of pictures of practically everything we did!! haha, that night i was so stuffed with not just food but also with the joy that my class brought to me.

this year might be the last year we have a class party like this man... next year many of us will be going to different streams, arts or science. after 3 years of studying in secondary life, studying with all of you in class was a great joy and blessing. words can't describe how much you guys mean to me, and for being there all the time, thank you.

16 november would be a day that i will always remember, it may seem to be just any other class party or just eating and taking picture, but the true substance of the whole night was the fellowship and unity our class has, thank you !!!

Thank you Father for a class such as 3(1)..

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Monday, November 9, 2009 at 6:43 AM

so some ask me : '' so how has life been ?? '' hmmm, actually quite busy, at one period very tired, really really worn out and felt very drained... i had so many responsibilities on my hands that i couldn't carry it, it became too heavy for a fragile heart such as mine.. haha, but that was the problem, JOAN was too weak too carry it, i had forgotten to share my burden with God, forgotten to lay it all down at His feet, forgotten to trust and have faith in the God that saved me... how stupid of me to forget that basic truth that was all along beside me.. =)

nevertheless, i thank God so much for opening my eyes to see lack of faith..and just today God showed me the greatest of faith in a child. We had guest over for dinner and after that i played with their kids while they had a meeting. while we were having ice-cream and talking, i asked Devian a question

'' then do you carry an inhaler everywhere you go since you have asthma ?? ''

his answer was simple and yet the depth of its meaning is beyond my understanding. He said '' i walk by faith ''. WOW i was like ...stunned. literally amazed by God and His hand over this child. Here i was, at least 5 years older then he and yet his faith in God stretches so far beyond my little faith.

i am amazed by you Lord.

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Tuesday, October 27, 2009 at 5:34 AM

have you ever been looked down on ?? ever felt that horrible loneliness that just haunts you ?? do you know what it feels like to be laughed at ?? i always knew it was really hurtful for one especially my age, but i didn't really understand how it felt till just now.. ARGH !!! it felt horrible!! erk, adding to that i felt so lonely there just now, running and waving my racket amongst unfamiliar faces, jogging round the court many many times without a physical someone i can call friend beside me, just God and me. but the thing is, in these situations, i dun want to be lonely, in these situations, loneliness haunts me like a nightmare i can't escape..

running to-and-fro the court and training was fun, it was what i wanted to do, but i wish i had a friend be waiting at the bench after my turn was over, to smile at me and say '' jia you ! '' or to just sit beside me. i didn't get that chance, instead, everytime my turn was over, i walked back to a bench sitted by a bunch of stuck-up boys laughing at me, whispering dunno what and staring at me with faces that didn't even have a trace of friendliness on it... at one point i tried to hear what they were saying while it was my turn to play, they weren't talking very loud but i managed to get a few chunks of words.. stupid of me to try to hear what they were saying, no point anyway, i ended up more hurt than ever, stupid me !! but at least i learned something, maybe God has a plan for me through this to touch their lives or perhaps change mine. who knows, maybe ??

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Tuesday, October 20, 2009 at 2:42 AM

i remember
those sweet sweet memories with you
those times where you took my hand
the moments where you took me away
far away from my troubles, far from this world
into a secret place only you and i knew

i remember
the wonderful things you showed me
the stories you told me before i slept
the scene of the dance
the day i sang to you our song

i remember
the time i fell
i came back to you crying
i fell at your feet
by your mercy and grace
you hugged me
you said " child, stand up again "

those beautiful moments still float in my head
those memories of you and me shall always be with me

but
someone once said
the higher you climb
the lower you fall

so true
so so true
look where i am now
i come back to you
like a lost sheep returning to the shepherd
i try but my sinful self pulls me deeper into the pit
i tried but failed yet again
again and again
until i want to give up

but your word says
keep on knocking and you will open the door
keep on asking and you will answer
in James you taught me
to ask with faith and you would gladly give to me whatever i ask for
i am reminded of the stories of faith
the heroes you called your friends
the great people you called " men after your own heart "

i ask of you now
i dun want to BE those people
i want to be unique
like nobody you ever knew

i ask
that you answer my prayer
i want to be in the Holy of holies
to see you heart to heart
heartbeat to heartbeat
take my hand
cleanse me and make me clean again
i'm in the deepest of pits i've ever been
it feels horrible and lonely
would you forgive me ??

drawing near to you again
i pray that you answer me
i pray that you hear my silent cry
the cry that sounds louder that any other that i've experienced

faith
is believing the unseen
i believe
that you WILL answer me
thy will be done in my life

amen

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Tuesday, October 13, 2009 at 1:51 AM

pmr is over !!!!!!! hahahaha... was almost jumping in my exam chair at the last paper !!! argh!! yes, that feeling of satisfaction!! i know i've given it my all... i give it all to you Father, all to you!!!

=)hm... i actually dunno what to say here anymore , so many stuffys to do .. all the better ! can keep me occupied and in line, so i won't waste my time.

praise God

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